Ahh, Post-grad...

The other day on the highway I almost crashed my car.

I was looking in my rear-view mirror for a split second longer than I should have and an angry (rightfully so) driver blared his horn at me. My heart was accelerating so fast it might have actually came out of me and flew out the window. As I eventually calmed down, I realized that driving is very similar to the place in life I’m in right now – the inevitable post-grad.

Like driving, you can learn about it all you want, but until you sit and you practice yourself, you’re never going to actually learn. Similarly, no one can truly prepare you for post-grad either.

Every year before this point in your life is planned. You know that after KG you go to 1st grade, and after elementary comes middle school. Then before you know it, college ends and you’re sitting here with a big fat question mark staring back at you.

It’s so easy to scroll, to hear, and to see people who appear to have it all together. A job lined up before they graduate, or maybe a week after. Maybe one friend found their life partner, and another became a CEO of a company. Maybe one friend is traveling the world, and another is having a blast doing a bunch wild, adventurous stuff-–and then there’s you.

I don’t know where you fall or how you feel. But I do know it’s different for each person. It’s only been a month since I’ve graduated but I know the spectrum of emotions that can run around your head in that short span of time. And I also know that if you don’t do anything about them, they’ll fester and metastasize and…you’ll lose your mind. (If you haven’t already.)

There are ways, however, to stay sane – regardless of where you are or how you feel about post-grad.

How you choose to look at it will be the overarching tone in everything that follows. If you have a negative outlook towards it then your day to day living will be that much more unbearable. If you feel more open, more positive about your situation, then you’ll find more opportunities because you aren’t being narrow minded.

While society, and the people around you may paint a picture of what an ideal life looks like, know that it truly does not matter, unless it’s what you want for yourself.

Know that if you’re living with your parents that it’s not shameful. It’s not embarrassing. For whatever reason it may be–you don’t owe any explanation to anyone. You know why you’re doing it and that’s enough. Know that if you don’t have a job, that you’re not some kind of failure. That just because you applied to 100 jobs and got rejected from 100 of them does not mean that you have nothing to offer. It just means that the right opportunity hasn’t aligned with you YET, but know that it will. Keep hustling. If you have a job and hate it, know that you aren’t bound to it. Don’t take a job because you feel like you need it to prove something to someone whose opinion does not matter because they aren’t the ones working that job. Know that you have every right to be selective about the people you exert your effort and share your love with. Know that it’s okay to not know where your life is headed. Know that at this point in your life you choose YOU.

The only time that we forget that it’s okay to feel this way is when we go online or we begin to let comparison creep into our souls. The minute you look at your friend and think “why am I not like her” or “why haven’t I found anything yet?” that you are missing the point. If you’re on the job hunt, find some sort of routine or system of applying, and then LEAVE it and do something that you love. Staying up all night on LinkedIn till 3am is not productive for you or anyone. If you have a job, make the most of it. Get to know each person you work with, take different routes on your commute so you don’t get sick of it, and enjoy every moment because there was a time you didn’t know if you were ever going to find one.

Regardless of what your situation is, one of the biggest assets you can have is gratitude. You can have the fanciest job, car, etc., but if you see someone else’s who has it better than you’re unhappy. If you don’t have any of that but you wake up in the morning and are grateful for the things you do have, you’re content. There will always, always, be people that have more than you. Who is doing something more exciting than you. If you focus on what anyone else is doing then, like driving, you lose focus and might crash, as I almost did. The levels of comparison are infinite and ultimately fatal if you don’t recognize and control it. The best part of about being thankful is you don’t need anything for it, you just feel it, and wholeheartedly believe in it.

There are going to be good days and bad days. Embrace each day as it comes. Think about YOU. Take time for YOU. Look at how far you’ve come. Be proud of yourself, even if no one else is. You spent your whole life worrying about this person, and trying to please that person. Put a pause on that, and ask yourself what you want. And don’t let anything get in the way of it.

This is only the beginning.